This single Mom has been discharged from the U.S. Army for failing to deploy with her unit to Afghanistan and claiming that her family plan had fallen through and no one would have been left to care for her 10-month-old son Kamani.

Situations such as these can be easy to misjudge at first glance. A knee-jerk reaction could be applauding her for choosing family over a job obligation. But it isn't quite that simple. Personnel in the U.S. military are required to do as ordered. Without that basic premise, no military can function. If soldiers decided to do as they pleased instead of as they are required, our nation would be defenseless. We would still have British accents and bow to the Queen. Or perhaps speak German or Japanese and a select few would be kindly asked to wear cute little yellow patches.

When (now) Private Hutchinson enlisted, she signed a document stating she would ensure a family plan for the care of her son. She also signed a document promising to deploy when ordered to do so. And according to the Army, their investigation has proven that she never intended to deploy and was using her son as an excuse.

If she was unable to follow orders, she put herself and her unit in jeopardy. They must now replace her role in the unit with another soldier who was going to be tasked elsewhere. She is forcing another parent into danger so that she can let everyone down.

I sincerely hope she is a great Mom and has lots of quality time with her son. But she just served as a poor example of leadership, responsibility, and mature behavior.

According to a Cambridge University psychologist, children with homosexual parents are no less adjusted than children with heterosexual parents. Michael Lamb, who heads the Department of Social and Developmental Psychology at Cambridge claims "studies have found children do not require both a male and female parent," and that this fact is documented by "broad research".

This claim seems to fly in the face of every piece of research I've seen on the issue. Children of functional heterosexual couples seem to do much better socially and psychologically, as opposed to single-parent families, when receiving the unique approach of a male and female parent. As we have stated again and again, Moms and Dads do things differently and each has valuable lessons to impart upon a child.

Also disturbing about this piece of news is why it was being considered during the arguments about gay marriage. When last I checked, California's Proposition 8 law said nothing of adoption or a right to be a parent. It's sole focus was marriage. But, as usual, we're grouping children in with marriage and that is a dangerous correlation in this matter.

Children are being used as pawns, just as they are so often in family court. If two men or women want to get married, that is a matter of public law and religious dogma (if the couple is spiritual in any sense). Getting married requires a license. Becoming a parent does not. Our society has proven that just about any idiot can do it!

A debate such as this opens the door to government intervention on heterosexual couples' ability to parent. The State could become the deciding factor on whether or not you are able to procreate. Sound like fun? While they already do that in instances of adoption, that is understandable because you are talking about the literal purchase of a child. It may sound harsh or a bit strange, but that is what occurs. A couple spends a lot of money to acquire a child birthed by someone else. Now imagine the State regulating all aspects of parenting. "Oh, we're so sorry. Your S.A.T. scores weren't very high. You might make a stupid baby. Application for boinking denied!"

We would like to know your thoughts on these issues. Should parenting be part of the gay marriage debate? Do you believe the children of heterosexual and homosexual couples have the same chance of being "well adjusted"? Leave your comments below.

Source article: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/01/children-thrive-equally-with-same-sex-heterosexual-parents-psychologist-testifies-at-prop-8-trial.html

It was 1998 and Bill Connington's sons were with their mother on a court-allowed visitation. That would be the last time he saw them. Jill Connington kidnapped her children on that day and fled Washington state. A warrant was issued for her arrest, but she evaded capture - until last week. In yet another fine display of mature parenting, she called the police last weekend and said she no longer wanted to be a mom. She didn't want to take care of her own children and was going to surrender.

Now the teen boys are in foster care and arrangements are being worked out to return them to their father. Something that is long overdue.

The "bad guy" in custody battles can be of either gender. Sometimes both. We really need a family law system that focuses on what is best for the child and in almost all cases, that is shared parenting time with a loving mom and dad.

Original news story: http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/12/31/custody.arrest/index.html

Update (Dec. 30, 2009 5:45am PST)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/29/brazil.custody.dispute/index.html

We said we wouldn't be truly celebrating until Sean and David Goldman were "wheels up" and flying back to the United States. It was true. That was a great moment of relief and celebration. The family of kidnappers had dropped their appeals and the Goldmans were able to restart their lives in the U.S.

Now the kidnappers have issued a statement that the legal battle will continue and they will fight for Sean Goldman's "voice to be heard in court". When will they realize this is not in Sean's best interest. Being with his father is in his best interest. Finally escaping the drama they created is in his best interest.

Luckily, the Brazilian Courts no longer have any jurisdiction and there is no possibility for a legal remedy to satisfy the wishes of Sean's kidnappers. So, we should still be celebrating.

Update (Dec. 23, 2009 8:59am PST)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/12/23/brazil.custody.battle/index.html

Sean Goldman's Brazilian family has announced they will drop all appeals against the Supreme Court's ruling and they now hope for a peaceful arrangement in which Sean can be given to his Father.

This arrangement has been five years in the making and long overdue.

Update (Dec. 22, 2009 6:44pm PST)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/12/22/brazil.custody.battle/index.html

The Chief Justice of the Brazilian Supreme Court has decided that young Sean Goldman, the kidnapped American boy denied access to his Father, should be returned as soon as possible. His opinion finally echoes that of the Brazilian Attorney General who recognized Brazil's responsibilities under international law to end Sean's kidnapping.

The entire ProActiveDads staff and our supporters congratulate the Goldman family (its great to say that) and hope Sean and David will soon be on a plane home to the United States.

Update (Dec. 22, 2009 11:45am PST)
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,580792,00.html

The Brazilian Supreme Court has delayed their decision yet ANOTHER day. First it was Monday. Then it was Tuesday. Now they don't expect anything until tomorrow (Wednesday). I'd love to chastise them for the constant delays, but I'm not sure how often they check the ProActiveDads blog. But surely experienced legal minds can't be having an extreme amount of difficulty returning a kidnapped child to its parents. Is it really so complicated?

Update (Dec. 18, 2009 7:00pm PST)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/12/18/brazil.child.custody/index.html

The kidnapping family of young Sean Goldman's deceased mother has invited his father to their home for Christmas dinner. And to add a touch of romance to the entire disgusting event, the invitation was sent via their attorney. Nothing conveys the Christmas spirit like an attorney at a press conference!

Update (Dec. 17, 2009 3:30pm PST)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/17/goldman.brazil.custody/index.html

The Brazilian High Court has now suspended the lower court's order enabling Sean Goldman to return to the United States with his father. At this time, its unclear if the block is permanent or if further proceedings will occur soon. We will keep you posted as we hear additional developments.

*Original Blog Entry*

Yet another disgraceful example of a loving and responsible Father having to fight international courts to get custody of his son. Young Sean Goldman was kidnapped by his Mother when taken on a vacation to Brazil. She later remarried and died in a subsequent child birth. Since then, Sean's stepfather and his family have fought every legal effort by David to return the boy to the United States.

All done under the guise of "the best interests of the child", the stepfamily has held incredible sway with the Brazilian Courts and they have enabled and supported the kidnapping of this child. It is difficult to imagine the obstacles faced by Fathers in America and abroad to obtain custody of their children. Only those who have fought through the system can truly understand the pain, challenge, and expense of such fights.

But these fights are being carried out on a daily basis by capable and loving Dads who are truly looking out for what is best for their children. Denying a child access to a supportive and caring Dad is a true form of child abuse. Similarly, if Dads were unfairly denying such time to a supportive and caring Mom.

Parents and courts throughout the world not to stop using children as pawns in their own petty and selfish expressions of bias, prejudice, and anger.

TO HELP DAVID AND SEAN GOLDMAN:

You can find more information at the Bring Sean Home Foundation.

Facebook page: HELP US BRING SEAN GOLDMAN HOME

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/12/09/sandra.bullock.custody/index.html
(image from www.celebrity-babies.com)

We like to see Dad's fighting for responsible parenting of their children and the courts actually agreeing with them. We wish Jesse James and his family the best of luck in reaching an equitable conclusion for the best of all involved.