Most Dads go to work. The traditional male role of sole income provider is slowly but surely sharing a place in society with a co-earning parent, but that is nothing new. It has been occurring since the 1940's when American society asked women to take up the mantles of men who had gone off to fight a war. Academia has studied this trend more and more deeply over the previous decades looking beyond the simple question of why and turning to an examination of its impact on the family, and men specifically.

According to a new study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, Dads are ignored far more often than Moms when returning home from work. It seems a strange dichotomy to me that this fact neither surprised nor seriously bothered me. Human behavior is fairly predictable and if one thing is predictable, its the short attention span of a child. They aren't particularly inclined to tell the same story a second time. If Mom arrives home first, she get the juicy news. After that, the child is thinking, "I already told Mom so go ask her." They broke their news and now its time for something else. Kind of like guys and the power tool section at Lowe's. Moving from one tool to another and never really needing to back track.

The study showed that 59% of Mommies got a warm greeting when coming home. Only 44% of Dads received something similar. Forty-eight percent of Moms got news of the day and stories about things that occurred. Only 29% of Dads received something similar.

Dads - if you're not the first to get home, don't despair. You may not get the same greeting, but you can certainly get the same bond with your kids. Make sure you spend evening hours with them. Help with homework, play board games, finish a puzzle, shoot some hoops or play football (American or European versions work equally well). While doing all of this interaction, talk to them about their day. Share parts of your day (if it isn't terribly boring to a kid). They will feel like a million bucks if you're always available to listen. Also, talk to your wife about structuring the kids' time so they aren't engrossed in War and Peace at the time you arrive home. If they are less preoccupied, you have a better shot of getting that warm welcome. Admit it, when a smiling kid gives you a great "hi Dad!" greeting, you feel pretty damn good.

Source article: http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2010/01/05/hi-kids-im-home-study-says-children-ignore-dads-more-than-moms/

Update: The first legal male prostitute in Nevada has been revealed! "Markus" is already comparing himself to Rosa Parks. You must read this to believe it:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20100122/D9DCPLTG1.html

(Original blog post - Jan. 7, 2010)
Good news Dads! If you are currently unemployed or just searching for a more interesting career, Nevada may be the place for you. Have fun...

Shady Lady Ranch gets government approval to offer male prostitutes
http://www.lvrj.com/news/brothel-to-get-the-bucks-80777187.html

The life of a soldier is difficult and can only be fully understood by one who has served. That is especially true for those military members who have children waiting for their return at home. The time spent away from family is tough.

But perhaps that hurdle is a bit more bearable now. The United States Army instituted a new paternity policy which allows soldier Dads to have 10 consecutive days of administrative leave time for the birth of a child. If stationed state-side, the leave must be taken within 45 days of the birth. If stationed overseas, it must be taken within 60 days of his return home. That 10 day period can be incredibly helpful for a newly expanded family, especially if there were complications with the birth.

On behalf of ProActive Dads everywhere, I want to commend the Army for this new policy and thank them for recognizing the positive impact an involved Dad can have on his family. There are many organizations in the private sector that should learn from your example.

For more info: http://www.military.com/news/article/army-news/new-gi-dads-get-administrative-leave.html?ESRC=army.nl
(Thanks to ProActiveDad "Spc. Scott" for bringing this to our attention!)

According to a recent CareerBuilder.com survey, 31% of working Dads would give up their jobs to stay home with the kids. That's a drop of 18% from the 2005 response. While I still think nearly one-third is a very large number for this demographic, I have to wonder if the survey is entirely valid, since it was administered by a company that is dedicated to working people. A Dad on CareerBuilder.com is clearly someone who prefers, or is at least inquisitive about, working

As I read this article, it reminded me of what some may have as a first impression of ProActiveDads. We're not trying to reverse history. We're not promoting all Dads to stay home while the Moms of the world convert to Rosie the Riveter. We're solely about positive parenting for Dads (working outside the home or staying with the kids) and encouraging society (especially the media) to respect Fatherhood again and realize that we have discredited and done harm to that role for far too often.

The ranks of stay-at-home Dads are undoubtedly growing and its incredible that we live in a time where such changes can occur and be accepted by so many. But there is a lot of work to be done so that Dads don't get strange looks when they arrive at a PTA meeting or shunned at the park when taking their kids for a stroll.

Parenting should incorporate a sense of balance along with well-defined gender roles. Moms and Dads are, in a sense, separate but equal. Kids should ideally have two role models with strengths that compliment each other and show what a well-rounded adult can do. Whether we're staying at home, working in an office, or working in an office and wanting to stay home, we need to make the right choices for our children.

The remainder of the CareerBuilder.com/CNN.com article can be found here.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/06/22/cb.stay.at.home.dads/index.html

The worst economic crisis of the 21^st century has led to millions of changes throughout the world. Governments are looking at ways to rescue or nationalize some of their largest private companies. Citizens are demanding more aid from their elected leaders. Entire industries are radically adjusting their short- and long-term strategies. And millions upon millions (although not quite as many as Nancy Pelosi misstated) of jobs have been lost. These are the events that change societies.

Although women now make up the majority of college enrollment, that has not made its way to corporate America. That arena is still populated mostly by men. And they are still earning more dollars than their female counterparts. If societies change in times such as these it is worth considerable examination to discover how these events are changing families. Could it lead to a re-emergence (or perhaps larger explosion) of "Mr. Mom"? Personally, I don't like that term. So I'll refer to them as  "stay-at-home dads" from now on.

According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, the 1940's saw the largest proportional rise in female labor during the entire 20^th century. During the Depression, women's employment skyrocketed. They were suddenly able to get jobs because families had to do whatever they could to survive. If that meant a working wife, so be it. Perhaps we will see a similar resurgence today. Millions of men have been laid off in the last year and this presents an interesting opportunity for them to re-examine the role of a stay-at-home Dad.

My wife and I had many long discussions about family income before my son was born. We were a middle-class couple with dual employment and decent paychecks. Her job was a bit more stable than mine, but I was the breadwinner. We needed to decide what would be best for our soon-to-be growing family. Should she be a stay-at-home Mom? Or, because of the stability and insurance offered in her career, should I become a stay-at-home Dad? Or, because of the greater financial security, should we both continue to work?

Decisions such as these are never easy to make, even in the face of obvious answers. Whatever choice is made will entail emotion and concern for the well-being of the child. Understandably so. And when things change long after the decision is made (such as an unexpected layoff), it can be like starting over from scratch. Now you've got a different set of ingredients but need to make the same recipe, or get as close as possible.

The option isn't there for everyone and for a variety of reasons. But I don't believe there has ever been a period in which the notion of man as a primary caregiver has been more socially accepted. And let's face it Dads, women love to watch a guy place with his kid! But seriously, women have worked their way to the top of the corporate ladder. We nearly had our first female President. Most people have no serious concerns when it comes to a working Mom. And rightly so. Other than breastfeeding, there is no basic function for a child that can not be completed by Dad. Strong male role models are just as critical to the well-rounded development of a child as a strong female role model.

If the 20^th century helped usher in an age of female equality in the workforce, perhaps the 21^st century can help bring about an age of male equality at home.

(Please share your comments below.)