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*UPDATE* (3-16-09) Parenting.com study discredited as junk science. http://americandaily.com/index.php/article/944
*UPDATE* (4-1-09) Official ProActiveDads response sent via e-mail to Parenting Magazine. (see e-mail at end of blog)
Parenting.com: Dads are less than Moms http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Relationships/Mad-at-Dad/
This is another typical hit piece against the American father. Coming from Parenting.com (which should be renamed MomIsRight.com, based on this survey), it explains why so many Moms are usually angry at their useless husbands.
Here are some of the highlights. Unlike the website, I believe parents should be respected and I will capitalize Mom as it is a super title! * 46% of Moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more.
* 44% of Moms are peeved that Dads often don't notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids (it jumps to 54 percent for moms with three-plus children).
* 40% are also angry that their husbands seem clueless about the best way to take care of kids.(This is my personal favorite. It automatically implies that Moms know the right way and if Dad has a different opinion...big surprise...he's wrong!)
*40% of Moms are mad that Dad can't multitask.
*31% of Moms say their husbands don't help with the chores.
* [20% of] Moms says her husband finds time for his own errands, like taking his shirts to the dry cleaner, but doesn't manage to fit in such family ones as going to the supermarket.
* 33% of Moms say their husbands aren't shouldering equal responsibility and are less concerned than they are about their children's basic needs...a number that rises to 41 percent for those with three or more kids.
* Nearly one third of Moms complain that parenthood has changed their lives more than their husbands'.
* More than one in four Moms feels like she spends more mental energy on parenting than Dads do.
* 50% of Moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves.
* Over 60 percent of the Moms [get mad at the lack of time off].
* 60% of Moms don't tell their friends what they're going through, or they make light of it.
First of all, you'll notice that many of these statistics are in the 30-40% range. That means a majority of Moms are happy and not emotionally furious at least once a week. Way to go Parenting for glossing over that fact!
Furthermore, this article does nothing to recognize and report the fact that Moms and Dads approach parenting differently. If they had bothered to take a survey on that element, they may have written a different article. Moms and Dads have tremendously challenging roles for similar and different reasons. Especially when one parent stays home while the other works. Priorities can be different. As can the approach to parenting.
How many single Moms out there would LOVE to have a husband who contributed to the household income, participated with his child, and ticked her off once a week? I'll bet more than 30 percent. And how many single Dads are taking care of their child's basic needs, multitasking, earning an income, and shouldering more than equal responsibility? I'll bet more than 30 percent.
As ProActiveDads, we should do our best to work with Mom to create a safe, happy, and healthy environment for our kids. But that doesn't mean you have to agree on everything, nor does it mean Mom is always right. It means compromise, logical schedules, and some grown-up time are necessary. The workload for both parents increases with the arrival of a child and both parents need to rise to the challenge. (This e-mail was sent to Parenting magazine on 4-1-09) Greetings to Parenting magazine,
My name is Nathan Greenberg and I am the Founder of ProActiveDads. As you might suspect, I take a great amount of pride and personal satisfaction in being a Dad. It was for those reasons that my wife was so disappointed to read your (now somewhat) recent article "Mad at Dad". And it was with no satisfaction that she then showed it to me.
I will cut straight to the point: ProActiveDads was created specifically to fight the image your article portrays. The majority of Dads are not the Homer Simpson/Al Bundy/Peter Griffin characters you slyly imply us to be. So few of your quoted statistics even approach the relevant threshold of 50% or more, it is a wonder you decided to run the article at all.
Shortly after reading your article, I published a blog response on the ProActiveDads website.
http://www.proactivedads.com/index.php/blog/8-dadsarelessthanmoms
To this day, it is still one of the most referenced and linked pages on our site. The support we received via e-mail, Tweets, MySpace and Facebook comments was wonderful, and it came from a variety of readers - many of them women who thought (as we did) that your article was plainly offensive to Dads.
With all sincerity, I hope you consider how your attitudes towards Dads not only impacts the women with which they share their lives, but also the children they are raising. You can help evoke positive attitudes.
Sincerely,
--
Nathan Greenberg, Founder
ProActiveDads.com
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